Why do so many people dislike negotiation? "I'm not any good at confrontation," you may be thinking. "You've got to be clever at outwitting the other side, bluffing, reading minds, spinning information, fast-talking." Or, you might say, "I'm too nice/honest/ soft-spoken to be a negotiator." Or simply, "I don't like fighting."

It's time to clear up these paralyzing misconceptions. Negotiation is not the art of war. As the most successful businesspeople know, it's the process of connecting with others, resolving your differences, and coming up with solutions that will allow you to collaborate profitably and satisfyingly into the future. In short, it's about creating a relationship.

Few of the negotiations you will take part in over your lifetime will involve one-time transactions, such as buying or selling a car. Mostly you will negotiate with people with whom you have ongoing relationships: regular suppliers, repeat customers, bosses, employees, team members, co-workers, neighbors, family members. If you negotiate transactionally, focusing only on getting your terms, you will find yourself at an increasing distance from the people with whom you regularly deal, and less and less able to get them to give you what you want. If, on the other hand, you approach them from a relationship-oriented perspective, each encounter will become easier, more positive, and ultimately more productive.

Based on Melanie Billings-Yun's nearly two decades as an international negotiator and consultant, Beyond Dealmaking shows you how to get the outcomes you want while developing mutually beneficial working relationships through the simple yet powerful GRASP method:

• Considering the Goals of all parties

• Developing Routes to maximize mutual benefit and promote synergy

• Using valid Arguments to build openness, trust and common understanding

• Benchmarking Substitutes to keep relationships from growing stale or one-sided

• Increasing your Persuasion through empathetic communication and genuine care.

Whether you're tired of being taken advantage of, are fed up at having hard-fought negotiations collapse before they can bear fruit, or are looking for a more positive way of resolving differences, Beyond Dealmaking will show you how to reap tangible, even amazing results as negotiation goes from painful and punishing to positive and rewarding. Even those who cringe at the sound of raised voices can learn to be master negotiators, as you discover that the greatest victories come not through fighting battles but through establishing profitable and satisfying relationships.