"I didn't tell anyone that I was
going to Santa Fe to kill myself."
On the outside, Terri Cheney was a
highly successful, attractive Beverly
Hills entertainment lawyer. But behind
her seemingly flawless façade lay a
dangerous secret—for the better part of
her life Cheney had been battling
debilitating bipolar disorder and
concealing a pharmacy's worth of
prescriptions meant to stabilize her
moods and make her "normal."
In bursts of prose that mirror the
devastating highs and extreme lows of
her illness, Cheney describes her
roller-coaster life with shocking
honesty—from glamorous parties to a
night in jail; from flying fourteen
kites off the edge of a cliff in a
thunderstorm to crying beneath her
office desk; from electroshock therapy
to a suicide attempt fueled by tequila
and prescription painkillers.
With Manic, Cheney gives voice to
the unarticulated madness she endured.
The clinical terms used to describe her
illness were so inadequate that she
chose to focus instead on her own
experience, in her words, "on what
bipolar disorder felt like inside my own
body." Here the events unfold
episodically, from mood to mood, the way
she lived and remembers life. In this
way the reader is able to viscerally
experience the incredible speeding highs
of mania and the crushing blows of
depression, just as Cheney did. Manic
does not simply explain bipolar
disorder—it takes us in its grasp and
does not let go.
In the tradition of Darkness Visible
and An Unquiet Mind, Manic
is Girl, Interrupted with the
girl all grown up. This harrowing yet
hopeful book is more than just a searing
insider's account of what it's really
like to live with bipolar disorder. It
is a testament to the sharp beauty of a
life lived in extremes.
REVIEWS:
“Cheney
brilliantly brings us along on her
haunting and riveting journey of bipolar
disorder. I was scared to go back, but
it's a place that people need to see to
better understand this insidious and
invisible illness that is is still so
stigmatized. Manic is extremely
powerful, and, at the same time, Cheney
really manages to make you laugh!”
-- Andy Behrman, author of
Electroboy: A Memoir of Mania
“The writing is outstanding, the
story is gripping.... This book is a
must-read for all those, clinicians and
laypersons alike, who are interested in
deeply understanding the experience of
having bipolar disorder.”
--
Dr. Lori Altshuller, director of the
UCLA Mood Disorders Research Program
“Cheney, a former L.A.
entertainment lawyer, pointedly dispels
expectations of a "safe ride" through
this turbulent account of bipolar
disorder. With evocative
imagery-time-shuffled recollections
meant to mirror her disorienting
extremes of mood-Cheney conjures life at
the mercy of a brain chemistry that
yanks her from "soul-starving" despair
to raucous exuberance, impetuous
pursuits to paralyzing lethargy. Caught
in a riptide of febrile impulse, she
caroms from seductions to suicide
attempts while flirting recklessly with
men, danger and death, only to find more
hazards in the drastic side effects of
treatment. More than a train-wreck
tearjerker, the memoir draws strength
from salient observations that expose
the frustrations of bipolar disorder,
from its brutal sabotage of romance and
friendship to the challenge it poses to
the simplest emotions, such as "the
terrors of being happy" that augur
mania's onset. Though she sustains an
ominous mood and relays horrifying
incidents with icy candor, Cheney
lightens up at times, as when she
marvels at the ease of masking her
condition at an office that brings out
everyone's manic side. But the narrative
hopscotch frustrates readers' need for
grounding and context that might clear
up Cheney's muddled history and satisfy
readers' urge to learn the fallout of
her impulse-driven episodes. Her
startlingly lucid descriptions of
illness merit a more concise chronology.
(Feb.)”
-- Publishers
Weekly
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Having specialized in
intellectual property and entertainment
law at several prominent Los Angeles
firms, TERRI
CHENEY now devotes her
talents to the cause of mental illness.
She was named a member of the board of
the California Bipolar Foundation and
the Community Advisory Board of the UCLA
Mood Disorders Research Program. She is
also the founder of a weekly support
group at UCLA’s Semel Institute. She
lives in Los Angeles.
Visit
Terri Cheney's
Website
